Just another 24 hours…

I sat up wide awake on my bed and looked directly into the pitch-black darkness of the summer night brimming outside my window. It was a late 2.30 am of the 28th day of March, of the year 2008 and for some reason my eyes weren’t influenced by as much as a speck of sleep. It could possibly have been the unbearably high temperature, it could also have been the excessive vodka that I had indulged myself to the previous night with the guys, but there was no sleep…none at all. A sickeningly rotten pain lurched in my stomach walls and I felt a lump in my throat.

It was deafeningly quiet and not even the crickets sang outside. Sitting up, I glanced around my room, from corner to corner, it looked so much cleaner now. There were 2 cupboards, one with expletives and the choicest abuses etched on it and the other, that always made a deep guttural sound, similar to a gastronomic discharge, when opened; a study table and a chair; not to mention, a bulging heap of clothes in the middle of the room, books and magazines scattered around, bottles, drum sticks, sundry articles, CDs and underwear, on top of my chair, on top of the cupboards, underneath my table…underwear everywhere!

I saw Shreya di, Rachita, Babu da n I going out for those late night walks and cold coffee from Zaika…how we laughed and scampered away when our landlord peeked outside his window to see what that din was all about..

I saw Avishek n Deba sit in each other’s company, getting lost amidst the depths of thick smoke and philosophy…philosophy inspired by the former, Satadeep rushed authoritatively towards the mirror to make sure that hairstyle was perfect, whether those glasses sat perfectly on his nose and took Anirban aside for last minute advices on dating, I saw Anirban n Arunima cuddle and exchange sweet nothings….

Bajju barged in, in his underwear, clutching his cell phone, talking to someone important, followed by Prad who sailed in, his belly leading the way, one hand put out, asking for a cigarette or a light…I saw Aravind struggle to light his first cigarette and Prasad taking a run-up before piling-on Avishek…
I saw the landlord, Mr. Patil scream at us for making too much noise and letting girls into the apartment.

I saw Yudi appealing to his mom on the phone, wanting to go for that one last party before the exams, the exams that began from the very next day…and Addy Mehta lifting that heavy barbell with one arm and discussing the Indian Penal Code with me at the same time.

I saw Da, Mayukh da, Sam, Jeetu, Karan and myself singing loudly with the nonchalance and abandon attributable only to madmen, I saw Babu da waddle in and out of my bathroom complaining how clean it was…

I saw the little boy, ‘Sajal’ who’d come by every afternoon carrying lunch for Deba and Avishek bragging loudly about the fights that he had gotten used to getting into…
I saw those little, un-healthily frequent ‘booze parties’ that the 5 residents of 24/B, Kapila Housing Society, Gokhalenagar, Pune used to find excuses to organize…

I saw the girls from the next-door PG screaming out my name and challenging me to play Holi with them….

I saw, seated amidst a haze of cigarette-smoke in the NCC, the Magnificent 7 making plans for Ehsaas, singing, taking ‘case’, planning gigs, composing songs, making lots and lots of noise....

Then I saw myself and almost immediately with a ‘pop’....the ghosts were gone…!!

It was 4.00 am outside, a couple of crows whizzed past kawing loudly….on my bed again in the middle of what can be described best as a bare, desolate wasteland, I looked around, empty walls, empty spaces, empty patches, the last piece of furniture sold, the last bag packed, ready to leave Pune, ready to leave all of it behind, shut it tight and forget all about it. The injustice was excruciating.
At that specific point in time I realized that the greatest mistake I’d made living in Pune was taking the ample time I had in hand for granted. I oh so took it all for granted and now, it was time alone that I could kill for, just one more day.

Just 24 more hours and I’d have time enough to go meet the old man from the temple who always blessed me before my exams and in spite of my prolonged absences from the temple, would say; “Sai Baba is always with you!”. I could never meet him before I left.

24 more hours and I’d finally, after all these long years, somehow conjure the courage to go and tell her how much I’d loved her. Tell her about the battles I’d fought for her in my imagination, how I’d kissed her lips and gazed into her eyes without a care in the universe. I’d tell her that I held her hand all these years without her knowing it, I’d tell her that I’d prayed for her and how I’d stood soaking in the rain one day, underneath a tree, far far away, just to catch a glimpse of her getting inside that rickshaw and make off after classes. I’d tell her that, the real reason behind having organized that outing for a lunch and movie, in our first year of college was actually so I could spend sometime with her. I’d narrate to her about all the pain I’d been through all these years just because I couldn’t tell her how I felt, I’d tell her how I cried when I came to know of her predicament of late, I’d tell her I had no problems when she was so rude to me. I’d tell her that I’d rock n roll in Kashmir just for her. I’d tell her that I still loved her.

Just 24 more hours and I would almost make Da go buy that Bass guitar and start practicing for our future gigs, a grand Ehsaas reunion, subsequent recording and stardom!!. One more day, I’d tell Mayukh da how valued he is to us and how I miss him and his little scooter, I’d tell Jeetu that I’d trust my life, my family with him and Sam (after slapping him for not writing me those DVDs) that I’d have liked to see him before getting inside that train, I’d like to have thanked Karan Singh for those long conversations we had had during those rainy nights of 2006 and for showing interest and faith in my abilities. One more day and I ‘d tell Babu da once again that he was such a dude in my eyes. 24 more hours and I’d be able to spend some more time with Smita aunty…talk to Prachi and Asmita and tell them I thought they’re the sweetest girls I’d ever met in my life.

24 more hours and I’d whizz past Lonavla, Khandala, Khadakwasla, Mahabaleshwar, Mulshi in a rocket, a bottle of vodka in tow, 24 hours and I’d race into T.Oaks, down a few pitchers of Barman’s red and make off for a late-night flick at E Square.
24 hours and I’d have gotten drunk with Shashwat and Swati and gone ahead and gotten into some major trouble with the cops...again!!
24 hours and I would’ve made sure we’d jammed one last time at Barista and prayed that we get kicked out from there...just one more time.
24 more hours and I’d have had that one last booze party with the guys at 24/B…
24 hours and I’d scream out to the entire city how damnably desperate I was to relive my last 5 years, in another 24 hours I'd desperately look for ways to stay back!

5.30 am…faint beams of sunlight shot out from behind the thick clouds that had gathered in the northern sky, outside, Pune was still asleep. Deba who was dead asleep nearby, turned to his right after what seemed like ages and breathed heavily. Avishek was already gone a couple of days back. Anirban and Satadeep slept in the next room.
I walked out into the balconyand a cool breeze washed up against my face and all of a sudden I felt alive. I was looking at a beautiful dawn for the first time after so many years, something I’d completely forgotten about all this time; a dawn in Pune…the city that I loved so much, the city that taught me so much, the city that I was to leave forever in a few hours time. I dressed up and put on my sneakers for one last climb on the Taekdi and breakfast thereafter at Goodluck.